Spilled Blood
by PepperSaltandVinegar
Summary: Kyla, formerly a rich girl from the states, dies and is reborn as Kenny McCormick's twin. Kyla is afraid of death, and as everyone knows, Kenny McCormick dies all the time. SI OC. Picture owned by us.
1. Reborn

Reborn

Dying and being reborn is one thing. Dying and being reborn into the South Park television show is another. Summer, from the Deed's family, a rich and wealthy family living in the state of Colorado, is reborn as Kenny McCormick's twin. SI OC

**A/N: Hello, my name is Pepper, the writer of this fic. My friends, Salt and Vinegar, helped out as well. **

**Please note that our real names are not Pepper, Salt or Vinegar, this is just our code name's for this site. Trust me, our parents don't hate us.**

* * *

"Kyla" I heard a call, followed by a smoothing of my blond curls hair. I wriggled under the touch, how rough and wrong the touch felt. All I wanted was for the woman patting my head with her rough hands, to leave my hair alone.

I stopped struggling when I felt a smaller, and softer hand pat my head.

"I don't get it, Kevin" the women constantly patting my head whined, her voice was slightly slurred, due to alcohol. I felt her gaze on me, "She likes you more than her mother" I heard faint shifting sounds "Who's me, by the way" her sarcastic voice snarled.

The boy who must be my brother, named Kevin, stayed silent and continued to pat my head gently, and eventually, the woman left with a yell to her husband about more beer.

The patting stopped, "Do you want to see Kenny again?" he asked, not waiting for an answer as he instantly put his arms around me and picked me up. He didn't hold me as gently as you would think one would hold a baby, as if he knew who I truly was.

The soul of someone who had killed his true sister for the sake of my own greed.

It was not in my best interests to kill the infant, I don't go around flippantly killing babies left and right still in their mother's womb. But I did not feel a shred of sympathy for the infant, my greed was far larger than any morals my maids or butlers could teach me.

I had lost my life at a young age in life, twelve was far too young, and I thirsted for another chance, even if it had not been a life god had made for me. I remember practically everything from my past life, I knew I was rich, I knew my name, Summer, and my last name, Deed, and I knew that I did not have any siblings. But now, in my new life, I had an older brother and a twin brother.

I was always the one to be showered with attention from my maids and butlers, due to being an only child, i was the center of attention. However, my parents being too busy to even greet me in the morning. But having an older brother carry me around, instead of being in fancy and bright prams, was a nice feeling.

As he carried me, I felt warm inside, perhaps even giddy, not very lady-like considering my actual age and status, but I was a child again, why not relive it?

I wasn't only feeling giddy about the free ride from my older brother Kevin, I was also happy to finally see my twin; Kenny.

Mother didn't want us to meet, in fact, I didn't even know I had a twin until Kevin brought me to him one day. He would let us play until our mother came back from whatever job she had, and I hated to leave my twin locked up in his room.

I loved seeing Kenny, but not only because he was fun, but because it gave me a good excuse to be carried around by Kevin, I wanted to get as much out of it as I could before I grew up and wouldn't be carried around anymore.

Unlike me, who had to share a room with my parents, Kenny had a room all to himself. It was very different from mine, and I loved to take in the new scenery of his room.

I took in the scenery of everything in the house, it must have been an old house, because there was cracks in the walls and cobwebs on the roof. With a little black spray paint and fake skeletons, this place would be a great haunted house.

I yawned, as Kevin plopped me on his hip and reached for Kenny's room door, I got ready to see Kenny's smiling face and happy laughter-

The door banged open, startling me, I even felt Kevin wince. The doors had opened, but not by my brothers hands. The woman, my mother, had slammed it opened before Kevin could even blink.

I stilled.

In front of us was our mother, an angry smile forming on her lips, as she squeezed the squirming body, belonging to Kenny, tighter as he struggled in her grasp.

The one year old started to cry, and I nearly joined him in a song of tears and bawling, but my brother's tight grip reassured me that mother wouldn't be doing the same to me.

"Do you think I am a fool, Kevin?" she asked, her smile fading.

My brother did not answer our mother, but instead stood still, probably trying to figure a way to get out of this mess.

Kenny's crying sounds filled the air, as he tried to push himself away from his mother, but this only made her tighten her grip on the poor boy. As he gave up, he turned to us, reaching his hands out to us.

"Do you think I wouldn't notice that my precious daughter was meeting up with this…this monster?" Our egg donor sniffled as she pointed to the boy in her arms. "And do you think-"

"Sorry to bother you, Ken, goodbye mother" Kevin interrupted whatever our mother was going to say next, and carried me off in the other direction.

"Don't you dare walk away from me, Kevin!" I heard her screech as we edged away.

But Kevin ignored her, and continued off to his room. "Let's talk civilly when you are not drunk" He called out to her, and slammed the door shut, her sobbing noises still being heard through the thin walls, even here.

I had once grown up barely seeing my parents, but I knew this was not a way a child and parent should act towards each other. However, my mother wasn't normal as far as I was concerned, she even went as far to call her own son a monster.

After that, I did not see Kenny for about two or three months. I barely even got to see Kevin. I was afraid that he was distancing himself from me so he wouldn't get in trouble again.

I was left all alone, and I would spend my days alone. My mother tended to my needs when she got back from work, Kevin would visit me if he wasn't doing whatever it was he was doing, and I had not been permitted to visit Kenny any more.

By the time I had turned three, any connection I had with Kenny was gone, and seeing Kevin was like seeing Jesus or something. It would be a miracle for him to even acknowledge me in the hall ways when he walked past.

I had also learned that our family wasn't doing too good with money, we were quite poor, and the milk I got was bland and stale, as was the food. I didn't even recognize the food, it was nothing like the gourmet food I ate back in my old life.

It was only until Kevin came rushing in and picking me up and saying that mother was in the hospital, about to have a baby, that I finally got to see Kenny again.

"Kyla~"

I was tackled to the ground by a flash of orange, my head hit the ground hard, and I raised my hands to my eyes in case the attacker went for my face. When I heard stifled laughter, I removed my hands to see Kenny smiling down at me.

I blinked.

"Kenny?" he laughed at my response, and helped me up and pulled me into a hug. He was warm, and smelled like lemons. But before I could enjoy it, I began to worry about if mother saw us together, and I quickly scanned our surroundings.

We were in the living room, our father, a walking/talking definition of a red-neck man was by the door way, and Kevin by his side.

"Where's mother?" I asked softly as Kenny pulled away, only to get a shrug in response. "Hospital or something"

I froze, as much as I despised the woman, she had gone through a lot of pain to give me my second chance at life. Perhaps all those time's I had willed for her to die was now coming true, and she was in the hospital dying right now. I could only feel guilt as Kenny grabbed my hand and led me out the door to an old red truck.

* * *

"So, why is she in the hospital?" I asked, as we drove along the icy roads.

It had been such a long time since I had seen the outside world, I almost fainted at the sight of trees covered with snow that looked like whip cream. Better yet, i could see people walking on the side paths, and people in their cars. It felt like I hadn't seen civilization in centuries.

Buildings, different colors, new sceneries. I could only hold my breath as I looked out the car window, slightly chipped in the top left corner, and try not to look amazed.

"She's giving birth, it's a painful procedure where a woman pushes an infant-"

"Don't care!" Kenny rudely interrupted Kevin as the old rattily truck came to a stop in front of a huge gray building. 'Hell's Pass' I read a sign at the front of the building, and I swear I turned as white as a ghost.

One of the many great up-sides of being reborn is still being able to read and write. I knew I would be far ahead of my class mates when I reached school, the very thought of going to school was exciting enough. I had been home-schooled in my old life, and learnt a lot in my short life.

Hell was a bad place, this was one of the things that I was taught. Hell's pass sounded like Hell's Gate. The gate to hell.

"Alright, out we get" Our father said, as he got out of the truck. Kevin helped me out, and Kenny was left to get out himself, but he didn't have any trouble doing so.

I grabbed Kenny's hand as we walked through the doors, afraid of what I might find inside. He smiled at me and squeezed my hand for reassurance.

The place smelt funny, it was a whole new smell. There were a lot of hallways, and whole lot more door's leading into room's that I would never probably ever see.

We walked up to a counter where a lady behind the desk smiled down at us, "Hello, and welcome to South Park's Hell's pass hospital" I blinked at the words 'South Park'

Why did that ring a familiar bell?

"Yes, we are the McCormick's, we're here to see Carol McCormick" Our father answered.

McCormick… South Park.

Kenny, Kevin…

Where had I heard these name's before?

I jostled awake from my thoughts when I felt a poke on my cheek. I looked to Kenny who pointed to our father and Kevin walking away. Reluctantly, I allowed Kenny to drag me off to catch up with them.

Finally, we stopped at a door marked '59' and made our way in.

Inside was our mother draped in white bed-sheets, laying herself on to a bed. In her arms was a baby.

We all gathered around, and Kevin picked me up to get a better view, but Kenny was ignored and left on the ground.

"Aw, she's so cute" Kenny said with a painful smile.

Kenny McCormick, South Park… _South Park? _

No.

Fucking.

Way.

I was in the television show, South Park? How the hell did that happen? My thoughts were interrupted by baby cries.

"What are we going to name her?" Kevin asked, and my mind raced for information. South Park, McCormick family, Kenny, Kevin, Carol, Stuart and….

"Karen?" I asked, looking down at the baby. From what I could remember, there were only five members of the family, so who the hell was i? I couldn't have been Karen, this baby in front of me must have been Karen, but the real question was, who was i?

Kyla, I was Kyla. Who was that? Kenny didn't have any other siblings, did he? Let alone any twins, or not any that the show had ever mentioned. Was this body meant to not exist? Maybe the baby was supposed to die at birth, but because I entered it, it changed everything.

Carol, or my mother, beamed. "Yes, it's our little Karen"

**Question: If you wanted some romance in this story, who should be with who? **

**Vinegar: Our first fan-fiction. So you can hate if you want, I don't control your lives or anything, I can't tell you not to hate/rip on our story just because it's our first. So, do as you wish. Review or don't review. Like it or hate it**

**Salt: -_- Vinegar, don't be so sarcastic. **

**Pepper: hehe, Review!**


	2. Pre-School

Spilled Blood

**Vinegar: nightmaster000, **thank you for taking the time to review, and for answering our question. The answer to your question is a 'yes' we will go through the episodes but with Kyla there, and give the episodes a little twist so they are much more interesting. We aren't going to go through EVERY episode, but any suggestions for episodes to use would be a big help.

**Vinegar: Thank you, InvaderHani667, **and we'll try. Another Kyla X Cartman? This is going to be an interesting fic, we can make Kyla's super hero form work with The Coon, and she can be (Instead of Butters) Cartman's assistant.

**The last part was rushed, and we didn't want to go over 3,000 words... We just wanted this chapter out. We changed the title because we thought that the original title 'Reborn' was boring. **

**Warning: Rushed, swearing, blood **

**Disclaimer: We do not own South Park**

* * *

Nobody liked Karen.

Even her own immediate family. Kevin was always busy with school I would imagine, and he didn't seem to care. Our father and mother wanted nothing to do with the sickly baby, and quite frankly, neither did i.

It was quite cruel of me to ignore the baby who would probably die without special care, she was very sickly, and with no one to take care of her, the death she had to face would only come quicker. And no one was going to run her to the hospital.

I would have rather stayed in my room all alone, but since Karen came along, father and mother couldn't be bothered to keep Kenny locked up anymore, it was too much work to bring food up to him.

And now, Kenny won't leave me alone. But I remember exactly who Kenny was from the show, he one of the main characters, and he dies.

All.

The.

Time.

So I was afraid of him, so what? I had never gotten used to seeing death in my old life, whether it was any dead bodies, real or fake, blood, or anything related to the body that could mean death.

So I avoided him, but he didn't seem to notice.

He dragged me into every activity, and we did everything together. Eating, bathing, sleeping, cleaning and looking after the sickly Karen. Because unlike me, Kenny seemed to have taken a liking to her, us four year old's were left with the task of taking care of a new born.

It was despicable.

In my past life, I had never taken care of a baby, let alone know what to do with it. And neither did Kenny, and in the first year, we had dropped her a total of seven times. Three of them because of me and four of them because of Kenny, who was no better than i.

I feared that Karen might be disabled in the future due to our carelessness, and that just meant more work.

"We should get Kevin to help" Kenny suggested one day, as we were changing Karen's dipper, "We suck"

"It's not our fault" I paused as I took her nappy off. "We are three year olds taking care of a _baby" _I mumbled lamely as an excuse as to why we sucked. Kenny rolled his eyes in response.

"It's like we're playing house" he said as I threw the dirty nappy out the window, in which it landed on a pile already being built up. I looked to him confused. "House?"

"Yeah, I'm the dad, you're the mum, and Karen's our baby" I didn't answer him, I walked over to Karen's slightly broken crib and stare down at her, her weak hands reaching up to me, but instantly falling back down to her side.

Karen yawned and closed her eyes. And Kenny grabbed my arm and led me to the door. "Come on, mother wanted us for something"

The house was small, broken down and easy for two four year old's to get around in. We headed off to the living room where we found our mother waiting for us on the couch.

"Take a seat kids" our mother tapped the spots next to her, and I was very reluctant to sit on the dirty couch (Even though it's been four years living in a dirty rats infested house, I was still used to my old clean life) But either way, I had no choice.

"Now kids, do you know what school is?" Our mother baby-talked to us, and we both shook our heads. It was the semi-truth, I had never gone to school before, all I knew was that it was like home-school but not at home and that there were other children attending. And Kenny shook his head because he had no idea at all.

"Well, it's a place where you learn, you start tomorrow" and with that, the red-headed red-neck women that is also our mother, got up and went into the kitchen.

I was over the moon, I was finally able to leave the house, see other characters, new sights and colors. Kenny wasn't as happy as I was.

"But why not?" I asked him, he had just stated that he didn't want to go to school "We never get to go outside"

"But what about Karen?" I sighed, Kenny was always thinking about Karen's safety, and while that's nice and all, its starting to become annoying.

"She'll be fine, we aren't going to live at school, we only go there for about five or so hours" I reassured him, but he gave me a confused look.

Luckily, our older brother walked in just on time.

"What are you two doing?" he asked, and I cringed at his voice. His new braces were going to be hard to get used to. "We are going to school tomorrow, Kev" I said and ran up to hug his legs.

He patted my shoulders, and smiled "That's good, luckily I bought you these new clothes" he handed me a plastic bag and I peered in. There was a white and brown cap, a brown scarf, a black and purple jacket and purple shorts. "Wow, thanks big brother!" I knew he liked it when I called him that, so I only used it for special occasions.

"What about me?" We heard a voice behind us, it belonged to none other than Kenny.

"Well, I thought you liked your orange parka…" Kevin noticed the sadness showing in Kenny's eyes, his usually bright blue was turning dark "And I didn't have enough part time job money to get you some new stuff…"

I frowned, and unwrapped my arms around Kevin's legs and grabbed Kenny's hand and led him to the bathroom. "Come on, Ken, you can help me try them on" His eyes didn't even waver, but he did mutter out a 'sure'

Living in a poor environment, wasn't exactly ideal. You couldn't walk five steps in this place without thinking that something was going to break. Whether it was the floor below, or the roof above. Unfortunately for me and Kenny, this time it was the stairs.

This was the first death I witnessed with Kenny.

We fell, as the stairs below us crumbled down. I screamed, and in midair, he grabbed me and put me above himself. When we landed, I heard a bone-crunching sound, and you didn't know how relieved I was that it did not belong to me.

Instead, it belonged to my dear brother, Kenny.

A pool of blood began to form underneath me, and my mouth hanged open, trying to scream but no sound came out. The blood was bright, and sticky. I looked down and saw that I was on Kenny's back, his usually orange parka was dipped with red, he had landed face first, and I couldn't help but feel that it was my fault.

"Kyla?!" I heard Kevin's distressed call, there was a lot of rubble around us, it would be difficult for him to find us. "Where are you!? Kyla!?"

I managed to gulp, my spit tasted like that familiar blood, the metal taste was disgusting, but I had bigger things to worry about.

Like how I may or may not have just killed my brother.

"Kevin?" I called back to him, sobbing quietly, "Kevin! Kenny's… dead" tears began to form in my dusty blue eyes. It was ironic, i had known beforehand that he could die, but knowing and experiencing were two completely different things.

I slowly began to stand on my weak, shaking legs. I took a step, and then another. A sharp pain spread around my left leg, and I tripped over. I hit the ground, hard.

"Kyla, I'm here!" I looked up through blurry eyes and saw Kevin standing above me, the tears i had were streaming down my face. "Oh my god, your leg!" He was by my side, and i reached up to him with weak arms. I found his shirt and grabbed onto it. His fingers traced along my left leg.

"There's blood everywhere!" He yelled, picking me up bridal style. I didn't know whether he was talking about Kenny's bloody body or my left leg. "Mum, Dad!?"

My vision, blurry with tears, slowly became darker and darker. I blacked out.

* * *

I stared back at my reflection. I had been cleaned up, luckily my left leg didn't have any serious damage. I had put all of the new clothes that Kevin gave me on, including the hat, and I noticed how remarkable it was that i looked like a boy. My short, blond hair wasn't helping.

Kenny had left earlier to tend to Karen. Or more like I kicked him out to get changed.

About Kenny... Well, he came back to life and acted normal, I know mum had given birth to him, the screams shook through the house last night were horrible. But the next day, everyone acted like nothing ever happened. I decided not to question him, i would just pretend that i never knew it happened, kind of like what Stan and Kyle do. Everything went back to normal the next day, the stairs are now replaced by a ladder, and we got some welfare money.

I sighed as i rubbed the back of my neck, thinking back to the my twin.

Back to when Karen first came into our lives, I was reluctant to share a bath with the blond. I grew up in my past life knowing that doing that kind of thing was not at all lady-like. But I grew used to it. Until I found a pervy-magazine under Kenny's bed, one that probably belonged to our father.

When I recalled back to the show in my past life, I remember Kenny saying dirty stuff through muffled words, and that the possibility of him being a pervert was likely. I didn't get to watch the show much, it wasn't a crime in my household to watch it, but it wasn't strictly allowed either.

I thought back to one of the episodes about Karen and Kenny. The kids were all sent to a foster home because our parents were caught making meth and drinking a drink called 'Pabst-Blue-Ribbon'

Would that happen to me?

I remembered Mysterion, who had helped Karen out with the bully. And got the foster family arrested for child-abuse. I thought about it and wondered if I would get to be a super hero as well.

This made me think of the super hero arc. If i were to play that game of 'superheros', I would probably join 'The Coon' or Cartman's side, I didn't want to risk my chance at life in the realm that Cthulhu sent everyone too.

Wait a second…

Wasn't the reason why Kenny could keep coming back was because his mother gave birth to him when he died? And he could come back from hell because our mother, when pregnant with him, went to some cult meeting? That would mean that I went to the cult meeting as well, since me and Kenny are twins…

No.

_No._

No.

This. Can. Not. Be. Happening.

Could I die and come back? Imagine the pain, it would be like living in hell.

I stared into the broken mirror and sighed. My mind scrambling for more information. But in the end, I decided to forget this whole thing. Even if I can come back to life over and over, isn't that a good thing? And besides, i survived the fall, so maybe its just Kenny.

"You ready in there?" I heard Kenny's voice through the door, i took one last look in the mirror, and headed out the door.

* * *

"Ok, we're here" Our mother said as she pulled to a stop. I tried to suppress a smile from forming, but it was impossible. I could already hear the laughter of children inside, and the building was so bright I was afraid that it would blind me.

I looked to Kenny, who seemed un-amused. He had a new red scarf on, Kevin felt sorry for him and decided to get him the scarf at least. Although, with all the dirt on it, it looks like it came from the trash.

But Kenny still liked it.

We walked inside and were greeted by a lady named 'Miss Claridge'. She wore a purple dress and had brown hair. I instantly remembered her from the episode 'Pre-school' She had burned because of Kenny and his future friends. Great, I'll stay away from that so Trent leaves me alone…

She led us and our mother into a room with other children, there were kids everywhere, playing with toys we could never own. So far we have a teddy bear with a broken eye, a jingle thing and a busted up football.

"Hello, and welcome to Pre-school, what are your names?" Miss Claridge asked us, she was on her knees to talk to us, but I didn't see a reason why to do that. I kept quiet.

"Kenny" my twin mumbled, but our teacher didn't hear. "Pardon?" Kenny crossed his arms "Kenny" he said a little louder, but she still didn't hear.

"KENNY!" he shouted, and the room fell silent. All the kids stopped playing with their toy trucks and what not and fixed their eyes on us. I sank back behind Kenny in embarrassment, and in the corner of my eye, I saw Kyle and Stan.

There they are, my twin's future friends. Maybe even my friends, depending on how I play my cards. My knowledge of the show is that, according to the boys, girls suck ass. The chance of me being in their little group is next to zero.

I heard a snicker in the crowd, and saw the fat boy known as Eric Cartman.

I almost burst out laughing, his chubbiness was cute, like a cuddly pillow or something. His shirt barely went over him, his stomach was hanging out, and I can only hope he gets a bigger shirt in the future. I almost threw up, as I remembered that the chubbiness won't stay cute forever.

"Ah, alright Kenny." Miss Claridge said, trying to break the awkward silence "And you are?" she nodded to me, but I sank back and buried my face into Kenny's red scarf.

"That's Kyla" our mother said, before coughing "I guess I will leave them to you then."

Our teacher nodded, and our mother left. But everyone's eyes were still on us.

I looked over Kenny's shoulder and into the crowd of children, who for some reason had formed rows in front of us, perhaps they wanted something interesting to happen, but I doubt Kenny would do anything reckless. I saw Wendy and Butters, and someone who looked like Tweek. Who am I kidding, there is no mistake, that _is_ Tweek.

I couldn't recognize anyone else, maybe the other kids haven't moved to South Park yet.

"Well, there are a lot of toys to play with, so have fun" Our teacher left us there to stand awkwardly. Almost everyone went back to what they were doing. Almost.

Cartman, Stan and Kyle made their way over to us.

Now that I think about it, I don't think that there is an episode about how they met. I suddenly felt like a VIP, living in South Park. The only downside was that I had to live with the poorest people in town.

"That was so cool" I almost squealed at Cartman's tiny voice.

"Yeah, no one has ever yelled at a grown up like that and got away with it" I almost cried at Kyle's voice, but I kept it in.

"Uh, Thanks?" Kenny said louder than usual, but not as loud as when he yelled out before. "My name is Kenny"

"Well we know that" Stan said "And that wimp behind you is Kyla"

Why that little.

I wanted to jump out from behind Kenny and give the boy in the red poof ball hat a piece of my mind, but I decided to stay put. Don't want to get on their bad side now do i.

"Hey, don't call my sister a wimp" Kenny was quick to jump to my defense.

"She is" Cartman said in a matter of fact tone "She's hiding behind you like a little pussy"

I gritted my teeth in anger, and tugged on Kenny's scarf tighter.

"Can she even talk?" Kyle asked

"Don't call me a pussy, fat boy!" I yelled, and everyone in the room burst out laughing.

"Kyla!?" I heard our teacher say angrily "Step outside, right now!" I pulled away from Kenny's scarf, and followed our teacher out the door.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I…the fat kid called me a pussy…" I looked down at my shoes, and they seemed like the most interesting thing's in the world. They were about as new as they could get.

I had never worn proper shoes before in my new life. I had only worn broken thongs to avoid the glass when Kenny and I went out to burn the nappy pile. Other than that, my feet have been bare.

"Then you come and talk to me, not talk back" I flared at her comment, since it was so stupid. People should be able to defend themselves, I didn't even call him a pussy back, the only insult that was thrown was 'fat boy' and that wasn't exactly an insult.

I sighed. "Yes, mam"

She sighed as well, and shook her head "Just don't do it again"

We walked back inside, and she left me to stand there awkwardly again. I looked for orange, and found the color instantly. Kenny was playing Lego's with his new friends.

I thought about the show, and remembered how crazy stuff happens. The thought of going through it all made my stomach churn, especially the dying and being reborn again. I mean, if that even happens to me.

I slowly made my way over to my twin, who seemed to have forgotten about me. He absolutely loved the toys, and i couldn't blame him. The toys we got were nothing special, i doubt they could even be called 'toys'. I walked past Wendy, who was finger painting. Butters and Tweek were there with her.

"Hey" Wendy said to me, or at least, i assumed it was me. I turned around, and saw her smiling at me. "Kyla, right?"

I nodded my head, and looked over my shoulders. Kenny was still with his new friends, and i felt a pang of jealousy.

"I'm Wendy, and this is Tweek and Butters" Wendy said, she bit her lip and looked into the direction Kenny was. "Eric Cartman, the fat kid, is a dick. Don''t mix with him." she warned. As if i already didn't know that. On the show, Cartman was a dick, so why wouldn't he be one now?

I thought back to the whole 'The Coon' business and how I wanted to join him to avoid Cthulhu. Because I would rather hang out with Kenny's friends then the girls. Making lists and shopping wasn't my kind of thing. So hanging out with the boys was a huge 'Yes'. I had to be friends with them. I just had to.

**Question: Have any suggestions about what episodes we should use? Leave them in the reviews!**

**Note: We have picked episodes with either Kenny as the center (Or his family) or Episodes about Cartman. IF you have a favourite episode that isn't about either, we will consider it.**


	3. Piwi Hockey sucks anyway

Spilled Blood

**Vinegar: Ok, so some of you asked for a list of all the episodes we know we are doing. Here is the list for Season 1:**

-Cartman gets an anal probe

-weight gain 4000

-Volcano

-Damien

-Tom's Rhinoplasty

-An elephant makes love to a pig

-Death

-Pink eye

-Cartman's mum is a dirty slut

**Also, we decided to do season 00, or the little shorts that Trey and Matt first started with. **

**Disclaimer: We do not own South Park**

**Note: We will most likely not save Pip :'( **

**RIP Pip**

**Warning: Swearing, OOC people…? **

Pre-school went on for what seemed like years.

I somehow managed to weasel my way into being friends with Kyle, Stan and Cartman. But this didn't mean they had respect for me. I got pushed around a bit, but I was sure that they at least saw me as a friend.

Trent showed up a few weeks ago, and he already has the title of 'Super tough, bad kid' in pre-school. The whole teacher burning incident, however, has not occurred yet. And I cannot wait to see that bitch burn…

She seems to have developed a soft spot for the chubby five year old, and whenever he does anything to me, I am the one who gets into trouble.

Recently, I had joined the Piwi hockey team. I would never miss a practice session, anything to get out of the smelly, rat infested house. I tried to convince the other guys to join, but only Stan was willing to go. Kenny had stated before I left one day for the 'big game' that I was just doing this to get out of helping Karen out.

This was slightly true.

I had no hate for the child, other than the fact that she drove me up the wall so many times that the word 'hate' is starting to become a word I would describe my feelings for her with.

She would cry at night, probably because she was hungry, and I always have to be the one to go and make her stop.

Don't ask about my methods.

Don't. Ask.

And thank god I didn't have to deal with her shit tonight, because I was going to Denver with Stan to play for our Piwi hockey team.

"Kyla, the Marsh family is here!" I heard my mother call from downstairs.

I glanced at the young Kenny, who sat on the bed we had to share.

"Do you really have to go?" He asked me, I looked down at the dirtied, leather brown suit case at my feet. It was nothing special, other than the fact that it was the only one in the house.

"Yeah, sorry dude" I said, smiling slightly at him, in return I got a bored look. "I'll be back tomorrow"

"Look, I know you're only going because Stan is going" he remarked coldly. I scoffed. That asshole joined in with Cartman's poor jokes the other day, it's not my fault that I had to be born into the McCormick family, so there is no way that I would have…ugh, feelings for him. "But he like's Wendy" Kenny finished, and it took me a few seconds to process that.

So his love for Testaburger started all the way back in pre-school, aww, how romantic.

"Kyla!?" I heard my mother yell angrily, "What's taking you so long?"

I jolted awake from my semi day dream, and quickly picked up my suit case.

"Okay, got to go Ken, love you" I said as I placed a kiss on his cheek and rushed out the door and down the _ladder._

I muttered a string of curse words as I reached the bottom of the ladder, and turned around to see my mother in her new T-shirt with the words "I'm with stupid" and an arrow pointing to the left.

"Okay, mother, got to go, love you" I hugged her legs and rushed out the front door to find Randy and Sharon, their hair much longer, including Randy's mustache.

When I first met Randy, I decided to become friends with him and make ties with him, he was my favorite adult character on the show, and if I will live my life in the episodes as I predicted, I want to be his friend whenever cool stuff is happening.

The only way to do that is to become friends with him and _everyone else. _

Even Butters, and god help my soul when he actually starts calling me his friend…

You might think when watching the show that Butters is innocent and cute or whatever but he is a total dork, right down to the point where it's annoying. If I have to listen to that 'loo, loo apples' song that he had recently learnt one more time, I promised I would shoot myself.

Kenny's deaths aren't as recent as I thought they would be, but I know that in the first few seasons he died in every episode. But how long were episodes apart from each other? Is one episode one day in this world, would that mean that there would be an adventure every day from the start of third grade?

I looked to Stan, who was in his father's car peering down at me. His face up against the glass as he made faces. He and Kyle had already started using the 'Oh my god, they killed Kenny' and 'you bastards' phrase. And then I would say 'gross' or 'ew' and run off as Cartman laughed at me. Then he would call me a pansy or a girl.

"Hey Kyla, excited for the big game tonight?" Randy asked me, and I looked up at his giant figure. I simply nodded my head and smiled.

"Thanks for driving me there, Mrs. and Mr. Marsh" I said as Sharon opened the back door for me to hop in, I took the seat next to Stan.

"No problem, can't let our best player be late for the game, now can we?" Randy said as he got into the driver's seat, I watched Stan and Sharon furrow their eye brows in a mix of confusion and anger. "I, uh, mean, our two best players can't be late for the game"

Randy laughed nervously as he started the car and drove out and onto the road. I checked the digital clock in Randy's car and saw that the time was 4:38.

"What time does the game start?" I asked no one in particular.

"Seven, we should get to Denver in time to book into the hotel room and then go to the big game" Randy replied, as he turned the radio up, and Sharon leaned back into her chair and attempted to sleep.

I turned to Stan and smiled evilly at him as he played with a ball that had the Red Racer logo on it.

"So, Stan" I said coolly, "Got a thing for Wendy?"

He looked up at me with a shocked expression on his face, it turned into an angry one in two seconds flat.

"I do not like Wendy" He stated, furrowing his eye brows together, "She's a total nerd"

"Don't try to deny it, I know all about it" I said, snatching the Red Racer ball from his hands.

"Who told you, it was Kenny, wasn't it?" Stan whispered in a harsh tone, he must have been super cereal about this…

Super cereal…

Nooo, I have to meet Al Gore and his stupid Manbearpig thing.

I leaned away from him and sighed, I suddenly felt that I really shouldn't be here, in South Park. I'll get to meet so many celebrities but most of them will end up dead… I will have to go through all those crazy adventures, and for what? An inspirational quote starting with the words 'You know, I learned something today'

Ugh, a living nightmare.

"No, it was not Kenny, it wasn't Kyle either" I said, pushing my thoughts away. "I figured it out all on my own"

"You wouldn't tell anyone, would you?" Stan asked, his eyes growing big in anticipation as he waited for my answer.

I thought about this. If I told anyone, I would be betraying Stan. If I betrayed Stan, Kyle will surely be mad at me, and Cartman already dislikes me, according to his actions of teasing me for every second of pre-school, so basically, I would be kicked out of the group.

I moved my index finger across my lip.

"I won't say a word" I said simply, I passed him the Red Racer ball back and turned to face the front.

"Randy" I said, grabbing the older man's attention, "If we win, where are we going to celebrate?"

"Hold up, cow….girl? You two have to win first" There was a long pause as Randy popped a can of Dr. Pepper "But I'm sure you'll win anyway"

He took a sip of his can, and oh how I longed to snatch it out of his hands and drink the sugary goodness. The worst thing about being poor is not getting to eat the good things in life… And practically freezing to death at night, we really need a heater and some more blankets.

Soft snoring sounds could be heard, I glanced at Sharon's seat and sighed. It was nice to be in a heated car, rather than having the cold air by your side, I felt like falling asleep myself. I looked out the window, we had already left South Park way behind and were now out on the snowy roads where no one would shovel the ground.

"So uh, you guys excited for the big game?" Randy asked out of the blue, probably trying to break the awkward silence.

Stan meekly nodded his head, as did i. As excited as I was to play, I knew we wouldn't win anyway. I don't think I can change the episode that the Piwi game was about, I think it was called 'Stanley's cup'?, and I know we lose so that Randy can be upset. But maybe, I can change it, change the future and the episode alike.

I suddenly felt better about the whole predicament, we just have to win, who cares if I change an episode or two? It's my new life, I can do what I want. I can save Pip, I can join FingerBang, fuck it, I can date Eric Fucking Cartman.

Wait, what? Where the hell did that come from?

Ah whatever, I looked to the clock and found that it was already 5:16. Stan had fell asleep, and Randy looked as if he was about to fall asleep himself.

"Hey Randy, got any car games?" I asked him, and noted his look of concern, but said nothing of it. He ran a hand through his long, thick black hair, probably deep in thought.

"Eye spy?" He asked me, and I raised an eye brow in confusion. What was this 'eye spy'?

"What's that?" I asked, biting the inside of my cheek. I never really went out on car trips in my past life, so this game was something completely new. When I would go on a car trip, usually to a new house that I had to move into, I would do quiz's with the driver.

"You've never played 'eye spy'?" He asked me, I could see his eyes, as they glinted in doubt, in the front mirror. "Really?"

"Yeah, is it fun?" I asked him.

"Well, no, but it makes the time go a little faster" Randy stated, speeding the car a little to pass a truck in front of us.

"Fuck you!" I heard the trucker driver yell, I turned around in my seat and saw him flipping us off.

"Hey, fuck you too!" Randy called back, and we both flipped the red-neck guy off, causing him to growl and speed up so that our vehicles were right next to each other. Randy reached over and rolled down Sharon's window, the sound of wind hitting our car could be heard.

"Uh, what's going on?" Sharon asked tiredly, opening her eyes a little bit, Stan began to stir as well.

"Who gave you permission to drive in front of me?" the red-neck practically spat through our window, his teeth were all yellow and disgusting. My poor, red-neck family at least has semi-decent oral hygiene. God.

"Whoever made your truck so slow!" Randy called back, and I couldn't help but go 'ohh' at his comeback.

"Randy, what the hell is going on?" Sharon said, immediately waking up. "Who is this guy!?"

"Some red-neck that Randy overtook" I informed her, slapping Stan's face a couple times for him to wake up. "Stan, get up, there might be a fight"

He opened one eye and looked up at me.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Red-necks, dude, red-necks"

"Um, okay..?"

He sat up and looked at the window, his mouth turned into a 'O' shape and his eyes widened.

"Fuck you!" The truck driver said, he swayed his truck towards us and bumped the two vehicles sides together. Our car moved to the far left, and we all screamed.

"Jesus Christ!" Stan and I said simultaneously, grabbing on to our seats to stay balanced.

"Can he do that?" Sharon asked Randy, who didn't give an answer. Instead he moved up next to the truck and attempted to do the same, but the truck didn't move an inch. The truck driver began to laugh victoriously, I put the rude finger up at him, but he didn't seem to notice.

"Okay Randy, just ignore him" Sharon said, trying to calm our driver down. It didn't seem to work.

"Randy, why don't you race him, first one to Denver wins" I said, gaining his attention. "Ready, set, go!"

We sped down the road at full speed, and when I say full speed, I mean the speed limit. It didn't matter, the truck driver was far behind us. I decided to tune out the conversations, instead I closed my eyes and listened to the radio.

...

"So yeah, can I go, it's going to be so awesome" I woke to these words, I blinked, what happened?

"What?" I asked, rubbing my eyes. "What's going to be awesome?"

"Morning, sleepy-head" Stan said, we both rolled our eyes, "I was talking about Cartman's birthday party"

O-M-G

Cartman is having a party? I felt like dancing on the spot. Cartman's mum makes the most delicious foods that I have ever seen. In this life time AND the last one.

Once, Cartman brought a cake made by his mother to pre-school, a chocolate one with ice cream and nuts, and he gave a piece to everyone but Kyle. It was Cartman's plan to give everyone else a piece, even the teacher, but not give one to Kyle to make him sad. This plan back fired royally, because Stan cut his slice in half and gave that to Kyle.

The piece I got was so huge that I could have divided it so that everyone in my family could get a bite. Instead, I cut it in half and shared it with Kevin, who has been on edge for ages. Kenny shared his half with Karen, which was unfair because she was a baby and couldn't understand how legendary it is for us to actually eat cake.

"I. Have. To. Go" I said, like a mindless robot who had only one mission, and it was to eat whatever Cartman has at his party.

"I know!" Stan said, agreeing with me, "So can I go? Please mum and dad, please"

Sharon and Randy glanced at each other, before sighing.

"Fine, just don't do anything stupid" Randy said, and Stan had a mini-celebration.

I glanced at the clock, it read 5:39, we were probably nearing Denver, I wonder what happened to Randy's race?

"When will the party be?" I asked Stan as I looked out the window, I saw a sign that said '20 Km to Denver'.

"Next week, Friday" He said, still having a mini celebration, "it's going to be so awesome"

Indeed, the only problem is getting invited to the party. Obviously Stan was, that's the only way he could know about the party. But I haven't been told about it yet, so I might not even be invited to it in the first place. I frowned, and looked at Stan as he finished his mini celebration. I could ask him to smuggle me some food… Oh!

"If I'm not invited, can you bring some food out to me once the party is over?" I asked him, smiling.

Stan thought about it for a few seconds before shaking his head.

"No way, I am eating _as much as I can" _Stan stated as he adjusted his over-sized hat.

"You'll get as fat as Cartman" I warned him.

"I will regret nothing" He said, determined.

I sighed, so much for that plan. I guess I will have to figure out how to get either in to the party or how to get the food out some other day. I watched as we drove in to the town of Denver.

"We're in Denver" Randy said, smiling. We all said 'hooray' in a dull voice.

We pulled up at a decent looking hotel, and hopped out of the car. We all groaned and stretched our backs.

"Alright, Randy you take the kids to the Denver Hockey Stadium and I'll book into the hotel" Sharon instructed, she was clearly the more organized parent. "I'll take a cab, so don't worry about me"

"Kay, kids in the car" Randy ordered us.

"Aww" Stan groaned "We just got out of the car"

"You'll live" I told him, "Toughen up, princess"

Stan glared at me, and quickly climbed in the front door to sit in the front. I climbed into the back, and buckled my seat belt in.

"All ready to go?" Randy asked, as he started the car.

"Yes" Stan and I mumbled.

After a short five minute drive to the hockey stadium, Stan and I found ourselves with the rest of the team, talking about…stuff.

Stuff that involved actually winning the game.

We were all changed into our green hockey gear, Stan was number seven and I was number eight. We were all given miniature hockey sticks, and I felt like hitting the kid that was staring at me with it. He thinks I'm strange because i'm a girl playing hockey, he even said it in the last practice session.

"Come on South Park County, we can easily beat the Denver County" Our coach, a fourth grade ginger kid who was unfortunate and had to coach us because his little brother is a part of our Piwi hockey team, said. I think his younger brother is also ginger as well. "Who's with me?" He shouted.

"Huzzah!" The team, minus Stan and I, shouted, raising their hockey sticks into the air.

"Alright, you guys are on" A man in a suit said as he walked through the door, he nodded to the coach who nodded back to the guy in the suit. Maybe this ginger really does like being a coach.

"Good luck you guys" Our coach said, and the man in the suit led us to the ice ring.

"Do you think we will win?" Stan asked me as we neared the ice ring.

"Probably not" I said, in a dull tone. Even though in my mind I was thinking the exact opposite, I had to see if I could change the future, to see if I could somehow alter the episode in which Randy starts to dream about the past, or this day, when Stan failed to win.

We all lined up on the ice field, facing our opponent. Instead of green gear they had orange gear. A loud honk sounded, meaning the game had started. Almost everyone fell over except for me, Stan, the ginger kid and a black haired boy from the opposite side.

"Ooh, So far only number 7, Stan Marsh, number 8, Kyla McCormick, number 10, Daniel Shultz and number 5 from the Denver side, Craig Tucker, are the only one's standing!" the commentator stated.

Craig Tucker? Is that really him? Why does his family move from Denver to South Park. I mean, sure, we have less traffic, but really? I have no time for this, most of the kindergartners were getting up, which the commentator noted. I tried to walk towards the puck, but fell flat on my face. Ouch.

"Ooh, Kyle McCormick just fell down as she attempted to go for the puck" The commentator stated, doesn't he have anything more interesting to comment on? I guess not.

I slowly got up, my head gear was extremely heavy, making it harder to get up. I continued to walk towards the puck, and I noticed Craig doing the same. He flipped me off, a trait he got early on I suppose, and continued to go towards the puck even though I was closer. Until I fell over again.

"Dammit, these bloody skates" I mumbled.

A few minutes passed, as I tried to crawl to the unmoved puck. I was so close, nearly there, almost got it…

"And we're about out of time here in another scoreless Piwi hockey game" The commentator said, I looked up as Stan slowly made his way over to the goal… without the puck.

"That's number seven, Stan Marsh, skating towards the goal, sort of. But he doesn't have the puck" I smiled, trying not to laugh at his foolish attempts. I continued to crawl and… Made it! I hit the puck with all my might and toppled over, I watched as the puck slides towards… Stan?

A large farting noise echo's through the stadium.

Their goalie started to cry for his mommy, stating that he crapped his pants.

"Oh, and it appears the goalie has pooped his pants" The commentator said, I watched the puck slowly make its way in front of Stan…

A miracle!

Stan cannot miss this, the goal is right in front of him. I really did change the outcome by hitting the puck! I smiled victoriously.

"But look at this! Little Stan Marsh actually has a shot at the goal!" The commentator said, his dull voice becoming a little less…dull.

The crowd began to 'oh' at this new change.

"STAN!" Randy stood up in his seat "shoot it!'

"You got it, Stan!" The ginger named Daniel called.

"Yeah, go Stan!" I called as well, as I slowly stood up.

"Take the shot!" Randy suddenly went crazy, Sharon had to hold him back "TAKE THE SHOT!"

Stan hit the puck.

I watched it glide along the ice, towards the goal. Just a little closer, come on…

And…It…Stopped.

The buzzer signaling that the time was up went off…

"NO!" Me and Randy shouted together, although his was a little more crazier.

"Oho, that's the end of the game. How disappointing." The commentator said, everyone left with disappointed looks on their faces.

I couldn't change it. I doubt I could change anything. I watched as Stan frowned and looked down at his skates. Perhaps the episodes don't want to change, it was meant to be, I suppose.

No celebration, a disappointed Randy and a lost game. Sharon said it was best to just drive back home.

"Stan?" I said as we drove back to South Park in silence, "Want to quit the hockey team?"

Stan paused for a moment.

"Fuck… Yeah"


	4. Part 1: Rats

spilled Blood

**This has been re-done because we feel that this isn't the way we wanted to take this chapter :l **

**Poppy the Rabbit: We're also glad that we were able to update, self-praising aside, Pepper is glad that someone knows what she's talking about.**

**Guest 1: ssssssnakey snake :D**

**Guest 2: Thats one vote for mystique **

**Guest 3: Two votes for Mystique! We'll try, although we didn't know we were awesome in the first place... We like their relationship as well! Other then Eric/Kyla, it will be one of our favourites! **

** Guest 4: Calm down cow boy/girl, let's get there first. But when we do, we will most certainly include the Black Friday trilogy. Ef it, let's add all the trilogy's! **

**A quote Pepper added:**

**"Why does everyone keep spelling 'no one' as 'noone?" **

* * *

I stared blankly at my reflection in the dusty mirror.

I was hungry, I was tired, and to top it off, my bones ached. I couldn't sleep, the bed last night was more uncomfortable then usual, I was turning over and over, also Karen cried all night for her mummy, who was no where to be found, and my dad puked and puked and puked. He has a tummy bug and my mother refused to go near him. All in all, it was one of my worst nights.

I slipped my mittens on and placed my cap on my messy blond hair. The worst thing of all of this is that I was extremely bored.

Kevin was still on his school trip, Kenny was doing god knows what in his, I mean _our _room, and i saw Karen crawl out the front door half an hour ago, Of course I didn't stop her, its much to cold outside.

I looked around the bathroom and sighed, there had to be something to do around here. I jumped off of my stool and walked out the door. Outside I was greeted by a very sheepish Kevin.

"Kev!" I exclaimed, he picked me up and hugged me. "You're back!"

"I know I'm back" he said sarcastically, which we both laughed away at.

"How was the trip?" I asked.

"'s alright, but it would have been better with you around"

"Damn straight it would have been"

Again, we laughed.

"Did you tell your crush?" I asked, my response was a frown and the shake of a head. "Aww, come on Kev, all you need to say is 'Hello, my name is Kevin, I like lazy walks on the beach, Bon fires and sausages'" I tried my best to impersonate his voice.

"Sausages?" He asked dumbfounded.

"Don't lie Kev, I know you like your sausages"

Once again, we laughed.

"Your worse then Kenny, you made that sound so dirty!"

"And you can't resist a sausage that has white, thick mayonnaise dipped on the tip" I continued, smiling devilishly.

"Kyla!" Kevin said, putting me down on the ground "You are a riot, you know that?"

"Yes, but I'm also the best sister in the world"

"I don't know, I think Karen is pretty close to 1st with you"

I cringed, not because Kevin said '1st' and spat in my face, but because of the mention of Karen.

"Oh, I don't know" I said wistfully.

"She is a bit of a cry baby, though" Kevin said deep in thought.

"you can say that again"

"She is a bit of cry baby, though" Kevin repeated his words.

"I didn't... Ugh" we both started to laugh again, forgetting about the sandy haired girl.

"Whats got you two laughing?" I heard Kenny say, not even trying to hold back the jealously.

"Kevin likes sausage" I said straight away, smiling at my twin.

Kenny looked up at Kevin, blinking a couple of times.

"You're gay?"

"What? No!"

"I mean, it's cool if your gay or whatever..."

"Ken, I'm not gay"

After a few minutes of Kevin trying to explain to Kenny about what I meant by 'sausage' I grew bored.

"I'm bored" i said blatantly, "anything to do?"

"I'm about to go to my part time job, you can come if you..." Kevin was rudely interrupted as Kenny grabbed my hand and led me to his, OUR, room.

I tried to catch my breath and question Kenny but I couldn't find the words.

"Want to see my new pet?" He asked me.

Pet? Does he mean like a dog or a cat. In this household and my last, I had never owned a pet, the thing closest to a pet we had around here was the rats and cockroaches, besides, Karen was enough to take care of, a pet was out of the question.

"His name is Venom" Kenny said, trying to prompt me it talk.

I was about to point out that if it was something venomous, it will probably be the cause of his next death, but then I remembered that I have to pretend not to know about his deaths.

"What is it?" I asked him, curious as to what this pet was and why it held the name 'Venom'. Perhaps it was a snake or a spider. A toad? Ew.

"It's a tarantula" he told me as he uncupped his hands to reveal a large, hairy spider.

I screamed. Kenny laughed. And our father told me to shut up.

I bolted out the door, giggling and screaming, Kenny gave chase.

"Venom would just love to touch your hair, Kyla!" Kenny called after me.

"Nooo!"

"He's harmless!"

still in his cupped hand was that spider, and I didn't want it anywhere near my hair, harmless my ass.

"What's wrong Kyla?" Kenny asked innocently as we run along the hallway "Venom just wants to, HUG!"

As Kenny said the word 'hug', he threw the spider at me, and it landed directly on the top of my head. It's legs scampered across my scalp, it's leg hairs tickling me ever so slightly.

I screamed, fear swallowing all rational thought as I halted to a stop and began to swing my arms about around my head. I could hear my twin laughing, that asshole.

At least someone found this funny.

The spider seemed to dodge my attempts of knocking it away, and as it danced across my scalp, I realised that I wouldn't be able to get it out. I ran off, still screaming.

Goddam, I hated spiders.

I stumbled into someone, screaming and flailing my arms about.

I began to sob, tears blurring my vision as I looked up at the person I ran into. He had quite a large gut, his face was lined with wrinkles, and his grin showed a lot of yellow and black teeth. His hair was grey, and he wore a green sweater and Light blue long pants.

He lifted the spider from my head, and patted my hair with rough hands.

"Why, if it isn't my granddaughter, Kyla" his raspy voice said, as he threw the spider away. It found a hole in the wall to hide in.

This took me by surprise. This man here was my grandfather, he didn't resemble either my mother or my father. Old age was a killer.

"Father?" I heard my own dad say behind me, I turned around and saw him with a beer in hand "what are you doing here?"

The man, who I guess is my grandad, began to laugh quite loudly. I put my hands over my ears as I tried to block out the noise.

"I came to check up on my grand kids" he looked around the living room with dusty blue. eyes, ones that were similar to Kenny's and mine, "not the best environment, I see"

"You never sent any money" my father snapped.

Pfft, as if that's an excuse.

"Even if I did, what would you really spend it on?" My grandad asked, and I must admit, I was starting to like this guy. Perhaps if the police see how poorly we are living, this man could adopt us. My father stayed silent, and soon our mother came in with a very dead Kenny in her arms.

"Stuart, it happened again" she said, I gulped and turned away, not wanting to see my dead brother any longer. Good luck explaining the dead kid to your father, dad, meanwhile I'm going outside. Perhaps I should go to Cartman's house and try to get invited to that upcoming party.

I stepped outside the open door, and breathed in the fresh morning air. I had an empty belly, and was extremely tired because Karen would not shut up last night. Speaking of Karen, she was outside, on the dusty lawn, clinging to a certain fatass's leg.

Okay then?

I began to approach the two 'intruders'. I could hear Cartman's loud voice, even from here.

"Let go of my leg, you stupid brat" the chubby five year old said as he kicked at the two year old, she simply giggled and continued to cling to his leg.

"What's going on here?" I said dully, not quite caring about the intrusion, but this was a perfect chance to get into Cartmans party.

Cartman looked up and furrowed his eye brows at me.

"Can you get this bitch off of my leg?" He asked, and I complied quickly, doing as he said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I lifted Karen to my shoulders.

"Looking for rats" he said as he dusted the leg that Karen had held on to. "Great, now have poor germs" I heard him grumble.

"Rats?" I asked, "what for?"

"So I can release them unto Kyle's Jew house" Cartman said in a matter-of-fact-tone.

"There are no rats here" I said as I pinched Karens cheeks.

"Uh, yes there are, your family is poor" Cartman said "and we all know that poor people have rats"

I rolled my eyes.

"Okay, I'll help" I said.

"What?" He asked, raising his eye brows.

"I said I'll help getting the rats and help release the rats into Kyle's house" could I make it anymore simpler?

"Why do you want to help me?" He questioned me as he crossed his arms.

Because I want to go to your party? Of course, I couldn't say that.

"Because I hate Kyle?" I asked, licking my dry lips.

"Okay then, I guess that would make sense"

"Great, I'll go give this stupid child to my mother and come help you find some rats"

I decided to ignore his shocked expression; the expression that one would give if they heard someone call their baby sister a 'stupid child'; and carried Karen up those dreaded stairs and through the open door.

Inside, I found my mother and father crying as my grandad tried to comfort them. They were obviously acting sad about the 'death' of their son. I handed Karen to our crying mother, and walked out the door. I took note of the strange expression my grandad was giving me, he probably thought I didn't care about Ken and his 'death'.

Ha.

Outside, I found Cartman poking at yesterdays Kenny, who was covered in rats. I pinched my nose and cringed, the smell was awful.

"Okay, I found some rats, do you have anything to carry them in?" Cartman asked me. I shook my head, everything here was broken. "Okay, then we'll need to go to that new kids house, I saw a bunch of rat cages among the boxes"

New kid? Does he perhaps mean Craig? Two days ago, when Stan and I quit the hockey team, Craig and his family moved to South Park. I recognised him the moment he stepped through the pre-school door, his trade mark 'flipping everyone off' proved me to be right.

"I think those were guinea pig cages" I pointed out, remembering Stripe from the show, "no matter, how will we get them from him?"

"Easy, we steal" Cartman said as if he had done so before, which I wouldn't be surprised to find out he had. "Come on"

I followed him aimlessly, this was so stupid. We steal, collect and unleash. How would this help me get into his birthday party?

"So, Cartman" I started as we walked along the icy path "Isn't you birthday around the corner? Holding any parties for that?"

He stayed silent for a few seconds.

"Yeah, what of it?"

"Am I invited?" I asked.

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because you're a chick, dude"

I rolled my eyes, wondering how I should approach this. Should I attempt manipulation, or should I continue to be innocent?

"So, no girls are going to the party?"

"That's right"

"Sounds pretty gay to me" he's only five, he can't be that good at manipulation yet. So he won't retaliate to mine.

"What?"

"Well, I mean it'll just be males at the party, no women, just a bunch of men." I smiled devilishly "how gay"

He squinted at me.

"Fine, you can go" he grumbled "just don't get in the way"

"Understood" I nodded gleefully.

Hip, hip hooray! But my mini celebration had to wait, because we were nearing Craig's house, it was a boring light brown colour, with a dark green door. The moving trucks were all gone and I imagine that the Tucker's were settled in.

"Ruby is perfectly fine!" I heard a yell from inside.

I guess not.

"They're arguing, this is a perfect chance to sneak in" Cartman told me, and we made our way to the front door.

I could feel the adrenaline pumping through my blood, this was probably the most exciting thing I have done in this life... So far. We were like fucking ninjas, or assassins, it was like mission impossible or something.

As we reached the front door, we realised that we couldn't actually get through this door without someone who was taller to open it.

"Dammit, dammit!" Cartman whispered as he balled his fists.

"Bloody doors..." I growled.

Wait a minute... Bloody doors!

Once, when my parents were do drunk that they were practically pissing themselves, they got into a huge fight, so Kenny and I; along with Karen; decided to leave the house for a bit. The door was our biggest obstacle, but we managed to get through by building a human tower. Kenny died at that moment, his blood spluttered across the door, and I had fainted. Only god knows what happened to Karen.

"Cartman, get on your hands and knees!" I said quietly, but with enthusiasm.

"Uh...What?"

"If I stand on your back, I might just be able to reach the handle"

"That won't work"

"Well we have to try, do you want Kyle's house to full or rats, or not?" I snapped "because I know I do"

Why I was even helping this fatass out in the first place, I had not clue. I was going to go to the party, so I didn't need to do this stupid ass mission. Then again, this is better then staying at home and playing with Venom or looking after Karen. Pfft. Now that I think about it, this is the most fun I've had all day, and it was with Eric Cartman.

Cartman complied after grumbling about bossy women, and I stood on his back. I began to hum to the mission impossible theme song.

"Dun, dun, dundundun, dun"

"What the hell are you singing to?"

"Come sail away, by Styx" i said sarcastically.

We both rolled our eyes.

I reached up for the door handle and turned it, it made a _clank _noise, but thankfully the door didn't creek, nor did it alert the Tucker family. I hopped off of Cartmans back and helped him up.

"You might be useful after all" he told me.

"Thanks, because I was so eagerly awaiting for your approval" I snapped.

We quietly sneaked inside, and headed up the steps. Thankfully the door marked 'Craig' was wide open, we peered inside and saw Craig in the corner of his room with a guinea pig, the cage was by the door.

"Get it" Cartman told me.

"Okay..."

i tip toed in and picked the cage up gently, Craig didn't seem to notice, so far so good.

As I turned around to give Cartman the thumbs up, the guinea pig in Craig's hands jumped and ran towards me.

"Hey!" Craig said playfully, probably talking to the guinea pig, he soon noticed me. "Hey!" he said more seriously.

I froze.

"Crap, run!" Cartman yelled, and we bolted down the stairs and past the arguing parents and out the door.

We soon ran out of breath as we reached the end of the street, me because I was laughing too hard and Cartman because he was fat.

"Oh my gosh, did you see the look on his face?" I said as I tried to stop laughing.

"Take this a little _huff_ more seriously, would you?" Cartman asked me.

Jeeze, what crawled up his ass and died? Although it probably wouldn't even get through the crack...

I looked down at the cage and studied it. It's bars were silver, the roof was made of plastic and was painted dark blue, and the inside was full of shredded newspaper.

"Let's go get those rats"

**To Be Continued...**

**Edit: Any suggestions for Kyla's superhero name?**

-Mysteria ( Poppy the Rabbit)

-Mystique (Poppy the Rabbit)

-Coony or Coonerella (Eric Cartman)

Shut up Eric, those are so COONY

badum tsst...


End file.
